If you follow my Instagram you’ve probably caught on, that something really wonderful started last week. A huge miracle happened just when I was about ready to give up. A year ago, I wrote this, when it was hardest to say! Today, it is pretty remarkable that I can celebrate the truth in that message on this very same platform! After the story down memory lane below, read a letter I wrote today to my 12-year-old self.
I remember the first time I heard the phrase “trials and temptations.” It was the horror phrase I heard right before I joined a bible study group. My best friend, who was practically the leader of the clique of ultra cool bible studying middle school kids, explained what I was getting into this way: “When you join the group, you become a devoted Christian, when that happens, you face a trial, once you get past that, you will be good forever” (or something like that). She said this in the most basic, straight to the point way, a middle school kid could explain what little she knew to her very curious friend. But I remember the caution with which she spoke when she mentioned the trial. It was obviously tough. Had she faced it yet? What did it consist of? A month of getting in trouble with the teachers??? Had she passed the test? Was she now enjoying permanent happiness? She must have been, for she was arguably the most loved kid in the whole school. And what did this mean for the rest of us “applicants”? Were we probationary members of the group until we passed the test? It was all too confusing, but I joined either way, me and the rapidly increasing number of new members. Our reasons, I’m certain, more for the need to feel included than anything. We spent time together praying and sharing God’s word, (sometimes we gossiped), we enjoyed the fellowship, and soon after the daunting “ultimate trial” escaped everyone’s mind. Now, several years later, if I could go back and explain what trials meant to my curious 12-year-old self, I’d say this
