Being my own boss and setting my own timelines usually gives a lot of room for flexibility, but there are certain times of the year where I’m under the strict deadline of a quickly changing season. It doesn’t help that most of my editorials are centered around seasons of the year or at the very least the weather, so a lot of my time is spent chasing fall foliage, trying to take as many photos as possible under fluffy pink cherry blossoms, and even praying for one more snow day to execute an idea.
I’ve had my heart set on a sunflower fields photo shoot for years, but I haven’t been great at planning for it and have always ended up missing the season. I thought I had this missed it again this year until someone on my Instagram posted a photo of sunflower fields in Maryland. I quickly messaged him to find out the location and how long ago the photo was taken because, that’s another thing, most of the sunflower fields had closed early this year because of the weather.
I wasn’t sure what to expect. I employed google maps satellite view, tried calling, but ultimately I decided to take a chance and visit the fields in Jarrettsville. The clouds were thick and dark by the time I arrived and it was close to dusk, but I also found out from someone at the fields that it was the last day the sunflowers were going to be up because they weren’t going to survive the downpour of rain coming in over the next three days. Perfect timing!
It is also in this moment that I realized that I was about to do something really crazy: shoot my self-portraits in front of a crowd of people! I had had some practice shooting self-portraits in public places earlier that week but they had all been empty with only 10-12 cars driving by.
I did not have much time to talk myself out of it, the light was fading rapidly and it was the last day the sunflowers were going to be up. Most especially I could never forgive myself for letting fear get in the way of an idea. So, I planted my tripod among the sunflowers and started snapping. The staring wouldn’t stop, but neither was the fading light so I kept shooting. I shot until I didn’t care anymore. Every time I looked at how the picture came out, I was motivated to push myself, to let go and give my best even if it was incredibly awkward.
—Self-portrait photography by Armenyl—
As scary as it was, I couldn’t be more proud of myself. As an artist, I believe the crazy ideas that come upon our hearts are gifts from God. And sometimes, they feel ridiculous and impossible, but it is always important to take God upon it and at least try. That’s how you honor the idea and that’s how you become worthy of more. I’ve done other self-portraits since this one, some even more challenging, and I can tell you for certain that the anxiety that comes right before has not gone away, but when I look at what I was able to create as a result I’m always so proud I rose up to the challenge.
Feature: A fashion through travel Self Portrait series by Armenyl featuring the sunflower fields in Jarrettsville Maryland.
Travel to Sunflower Fields in Jarrettsville Maryland
Wear : Chriselle Lim x Nordstrom Collection in Yellow