I didn’t achieve any of the things my successful peers did in 2018. Glossing through various highlight reels, I did not land my dream campaign or get published in any major publication. In fact, if I think really hard, I’d probably find very little to share on commercial success for the year. But, in saying all these things, I hope I haven’t fooled you into believing 2018 was the worst year in my career because it was, in fact, the best despite the lack of “traditional success stories.”
In 2018, I achieved something greater and more powerful: I discovered myself; I saw a glimpse of my power and my gifts. By the end of 2018, I could easily say what I was born to do. For someone who searched earnestly, found, lost and found herself again, this was one of the greatest blessings I could ever receive! Slow to the race of great career achievements, saying I simply found myself should feel like nothing to write home about. You might even say I am only fishing to make something of the year. But, I can’t begin to explain to you how it felt the day I walked into a room surrounded by men and women who have achieved so much commercial success, yet not a single one of them felt like my competition. I was in my own lane(really at the moment I was floating on cloud 9) and I could confidently celebrate their success without questioning mine. What I had under my belt at that moment was the foundation I needed to build nations!
Dare to be Different
Until I moved out of the shadows of the shapes that obscured my vision(the shadows of comparisons for example) and into my own space, no one could see my light. It took me, courageously, standing out into my own to see my full potential. The moment I realized I was a different breed flocking through, everything made sense. My path was a lot clearer and I created projects that I didn’t even think were possible.
Courage
In 2018, I progressed from hiding behind the lens for years to putting myself not only in front of the lens but also in front of crowds of people. I created more self-portrait projects than I ever have! This was never part of some brand strategy. 2018 was a year of courageously chasing stories and ideas even if it meant putting myself way out of my comfort zone. I saw every idea as a gift God had entrusted me with, and with each blessing of a creative idea, I gave a 100% of my time and my effort into making it a reality. And guess what? Each time I did, God gave me more!
Return On Investment
There’s a bible story I talk about on here a lot about a King who gives His servants different talents. When the servants come back to report to Him at the end of the day, some have doubled their return on investment while one brought back nothing. For those that doubled their investment, He blessed with even more! And for the one who didn’t, He took their talents and gave it to the one who did! I became very connected with this story by the end of 2018: Whatever God gave me I was going to double it, give it back, and then stretch my hand out for more! God was beyond faithful, and by the end of the year, I could honestly say I was creating projects that were way bigger than me.
A Spiritual Journey
Although people on the outside may have just seen it as fun creative projects I was putting out there, it was a spiritual journey for me. A spiritual experience of seeing the extent of the power at work within me, testing it, expanding it, and seeing the strength of God in my life. I can hardly take credit for anything! I still do not how I did it. I just know that I surrendered my fears and lack of expertise to a God who could make anything possible!
I am grateful to you all for every encouraging message along the way! Many of you rooted for me harder than I even root for myself! You inspire me to push harder!
Really Tough Times
I had so many reasons to give up last year! Even while I was sharing my best work, I was going through the worst times of the year but your support and love along the way made it all worth it. I thank God so much for you! I am glad we connected a lot more in 2018! And I even got to work with some of you! I thank God for this platform and this opportunity to be used for His glory! I pray to be used by Him beyond my wildest imagination this new year!
For 2019
I don’t have a long list of intentions as I have in previous years. I just want to be even more faithful to my craft and my purpose here on earth. I want to create more meaningfully and connect even more with you. I want to be a better friend, sister, daughter, artist, citizen, human! And I hope to get that much closer to myself and purpose!
This bible verse is my humble prayer for my life & work this year:
“Arise, shine, for your light has come,
and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.
2 See, darkness covers the earth
and thick darkness is over the peoples,
but the Lord rises upon you
and his glory appears over you.
3 Nations will come to your light,
and kings to the brightness of your dawn.
4 “Lift up your eyes and look about you:
All assemble and come to you;
your sons come from afar,
and your daughters are carried on the hip.
5 Then you will look and be radiant,
your heart will throb and swell with joy;
the wealth on the seas will be brought to you,
to you the riches of the nations will come.
6 Herds of camels will cover your land,
young camels of Midian and Ephah.
And all from Sheba will come,
bearing gold and incense
and proclaiming the praise of the Lord.
7 All Kedar’s flocks will be gathered to you,
the rams of Nebaioth will serve you;
they will be accepted as offerings on my altar,
and I will adorn my glorious temple.
8 “Who are these that fly along like clouds,
like doves to their nests?
9 Surely the islands look to me;
in the lead are the ships of Tarshish,[a]
bringing your children from afar,
with their silver and gold,
to the honor of the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel,
for he has endowed you with splendor.
10 “Foreigners will rebuild your walls,
and their kings will serve you.
Though in anger I struck you,
in favor I will show you compassion.
11 Your gates will always stand open,
they will never be shut, day or night,
so that people may bring you the wealth of the nations—
their kings led in triumphal procession.
12 For the nation or kingdom that will not serve you will perish;
it will be utterly ruined.
13 “The glory of Lebanon will come to you,
the juniper, the fir and the cypress together,
to adorn my sanctuary;
and I will glorify the place for my feet.
14 The children of your oppressors will come bowing before you;
all who despise you will bow down at your feet
and will call you the City of the Lord,
Zion of the Holy One of Israel.
15 “Although you have been forsaken and hated,
with no one traveling through,
I will make you the everlasting pride
and the joy of all generations.
16 You will drink the milk of nations
and be nursed at royal breasts.
Then you will know that I, the Lord, am your Savior,
your Redeemer, the Mighty One of Jacob.
17 Instead of bronze I will bring you gold,
and silver in place of iron.
Instead of wood I will bring you bronze,
and iron in place of stones.
I will make peace your governor
and well-being your ruler.
18 No longer will violence be heard in your land,
nor ruin or destruction within your borders,
but you will call your walls Salvation
and your gates Praise.
19 The sun will no more be your light by day,
nor will the brightness of the moon shine on you,
for the Lord will be your everlasting light,
and your God will be your glory.
20 Your sun will never set again,
and your moon will wane no more;
the Lord will be your everlasting light,
and your days of sorrow will end.
21 Then all your people will be righteous
and they will possess the land forever.
They are the shoot I have planted,
the work of my hands,
for the display of my splendor.
22 The least of you will become a thousand,
the smallest a mighty nation.
I am the Lord;
in its time I will do this swiftly.”
Thank God for a blessed & annointed new year!